Thankful for…Connectedness

Could’ve said “connectivity”, but to me that connotes technology and an overt, detectable interface. That’s certainly something I’m thankful for; without Skype and text and email and Twitter, I’d still be one lonely butch!

But what I’m particularly thankful for today is the more ethereal connection between two kindred spirits that is entirely independent from any technology or gadget. I’m thankful for a connectedness that transcends the physical, reaches into the spiritual energy extant in each of us and speaks a primal language beyond spoken words.

I have had a form of this connection with only three people in my life, all of them women, and only one of them yet living. Each connection is as unique as each person is unique in the universe.

With my grandmother, my connectedness manifested as an understanding by each of us of the other’s personality to a degree that is astounding to my adult mind. But when I was 9 years old and awkward and lonely, my soul instinctively recognized it’s kindred in my Gran. We talked as equals, despite the 70-odd years’ separating us in age. She helped me see a future beyond my childhood (and childish) pain, without pity or condescension. I helped her re-connect with youthfulness, without baby-talk or vapid blather. It was a mutual partnership in bootstrap toughness and down-home camaraderie.

With my mom, it was the connection between mother and child that defies definition and logic. Ranging widely in quality and intensity over the course of my life, this connectedness helped shape my fundamental nature. It spanned the spectrum from the safety- and nurturing-focused relationship of mommy/child, through the tough discipline and teaching times of mom/youth and young adult, to that unique friendship of mother/daughter that seems to take root only when daughter has matured to the point of being able to see beyond herself. To this day, though she is gone from this physical world, I feel connected to her energy and feel her influence in my life.

But with my beloved, the connection is of a different sort altogether. With her, our connectedness is so much more…in every way. I want to describe this, without getting maudlin or hopelessly sappy. In it’s simplest terms, her soul speaks to mine in a language as ancient and primordial as earth and stars. It goes beyond thinking in eerily similar ways, saying things in almost the exactly the same words more often than is statistically probable, and using the same gestures and metaphors to communicate similar thoughts. Our empathy and syncopation reaches into our dreams and moods, unaided by our volition. Not only have I “grown accustomed to her face”, as the old “My Fair Lady” song says, but my spirit has become attuned to hers and sings a song of hope and belonging in harmony with her soul. (So I’m a sap and got a little overly creative with the metaphor so sue me!) This link is beyond mere emotion and is a source of great joy to me.

I’m so extraordinarily blessed to be connected to a beautiful soul in a healthy, loving relationship, and to have the foundation of love and understanding from the connections in and to my past.

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