Thankful for…fashion

I’m a big butch. I’ve always been butch, even as a kid, long before I’d ever heard the term or knew what it meant to me. Although, to me, “butch” isn’t all about outward presentation, the look is a big part of it. “Gender non-conforming” isn’t precise enough a term, in my opinion, for such a complex topic (after all, butch is my gender), but sometimes labels make communication easier. So butch it is.

And butch fashion is so much fun!

In my youth, my fashion sense consisted of grubby jeans and t-shirts. Dressing up was a nightmare I avoided like the plague. But, when forced to do so, my fashion stretched only so far as cords or twill slacks and a long sleeved mock neck or button-down Oxford. Woe betide the mom, aunt or cousin who suggested a skirt or dress! Although it did happen, it never really happened without a fight.

But with the independence of my adulthood and a more flexible budget, I’ve discovered the joy to be found in dressing sharply in clothes that feel good and which coincide with my gender identity.

I’ve dressed in exclusively masculine clothes for over fifteen years. Can’t even recall the last time I capitulated to the pressure and wore a skirt. The last semi/formal events I attended (a wedding, a professional presentation, and a business function) saw me sporting men’s dress slacks, a dress shirt and a blazer. Only recently though have I found the courage to wear ties and even bow ties. But I’ve discovered a real delight in them! In fact, last week marks the first time I’ve ever worn a tie to work every day of the week.

Special Femme likes to see me dressed sharply, too. We recently had a Skype-enabled shopping date (I know!) where she helped select some looks more suited to the season. Actually, she and the shop assistant ganged up on me and chose two ties that, but for their insistence, I’d never have bought. But, after wearing each, I admit they have a certain appeal…even the black and red paisley “mafia tie”. ๐Ÿ™‚

Today, I’m wearing my first ever cut-to-measure dress shirt. It has French cuffs, so cuff links for the first time, too! I bought this one for an event in October, but it didn’t arrive in time. No matter, it’s here now. And I’m awaiting (barely patiently) for a few more custom shirts from Tomboy Tailors (one of the hot new fashion houses for masculine-presenting women that hit the ground this year–I think they’re actually the first with an IRL store, located in San Francisco). Can’t wait to get them!!

What I like most about fashion now is the way it makes me feel. With a well-fitting masculine dress shirt and tie, whether over jeans or slacks, and a pair of wing tips or boots, I feel more real, more authentic than ever before. When I dress consistent with my gender identity, in a fashionably cut outfit, I’m finally comfortable in my skin, so to speak. It feels as if the world can now see the closest thing to my inner image of myself. That feeling of being genuine, fully transparent, is amazing.

So, today I’m thankful for butch fashion…and my growing collection of ties! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here are a few recent chin-pics of my forays into butch fashion.

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14 comments so far

  1. middleagebutch on

    Gotta say, neckties give this butch a lot of swagger. Keep rocking the ties. I haven’t tried bowties yet.

    • Searching4Self2013 on

      Ah, a bow tie is gold, man! Check ’em out! Easy online tutorial taught me to tie them. Got it on the second try & haven’t looked back!

      • middleagebutch on

        Cool. I’ll have to give it a go. Maybe a bow tie for the holidays.

  2. Victoria Oldham on

    Yay for fashionable butches.
    And skype enabled shopping? SO excellent.

    • Searching4Self2013 on

      Skype-enabled shopping was TONS better than regular shopping! Only…makes it less likely I can whine my way out of having to shop in the future. :-/ Lol!

      • Victoria Oldham on

        My butch would use it as an excuse to Not shop–ie, ‘you go, and skype me if you think I’ll like something’. Perhaps I won’t mention it. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Searching4Self2013 on

        Oooo! Now that’s an idea! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. lesbiannefree on

    Very nice! Liked everything except the lipstick look – sure that was bad lighting. Your smile looks genuinely happy, too! You’ve come a long way!

    • Searching4Self2013 on

      Ummm…lipstick look? Not my style. But I have been told that my lips are unusually pink by nature. *shrug*

      Thanks for reading & commenting.

      • lesbiannefree on

        cool! they are unusually pink, then, very nice ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Lulu on

      Neither lipstick nor bad lighting Anne just naturally beautiful skin tone and gorgeous lips :0)

  4. […] Thankful for…fashion (suddenawareness.wordpress.com) […]


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