Archive for March, 2016|Monthly archive page

Noisy, Painful, and Dark

Faltering in my positivity streak…

— — — — —

Noisy, painful, and dark – that’s what the world feels like right now. 

  • Brussels
  • Gomeshi 
  • North Carolina, Georgia, Kansas- legislated hatred & bigotry 
  • Suicide Bombings
  • Burning children 
  • Dead trans* women
  • Police violence against POC
  • Refugees ignored, targeted, vilified 

My heart is exhausted and my mind is numb. 

Hatred, indifference, misogyny, discrimination, unkindness, reactionary politics, bombastic rhetoric, and invective spewed indiscriminately at anyone, anything, and any idea or ethos that doesn’t fit in a predetermined “normal” box. All difference, diversity, and authenticity reviled. Threats of violence, ostracism, even imprisonment or internment being bandied about like poker chips by not just internet trolls, but also by men (and some women) in positions of power…just for existing as women or queer or trans* or black or Muslim… 

The world is looking pretty dark. The noise, the cacophony of hate is physically painful. I’m having trouble finding the good things that have meaning in order to celebrate them. 

This is why I don’t watch the news or listen to the radio. This level of poison in the atmosphere, the seething hatred making the air and sea and earth burn…it is too much.  

My heart and mind recoil. But where is there any solace, any refuge?  

Advertisements

Back to Work Wednesday 

As I write this I’m fighting to keep my eyes open. One day of actual work and I’m beat at 9pm. Granted, I have just had four days off in a row in which I did next to nothing and, as a result, actually using my brain today felt extra hard. 

But I didn’t have more than three meetings and only a couple of drop-ins from my boss. I even wore my favorite, ratty, indeterminate salmonish colored sweatshirt and comfy jeans with no tie as a sort of self care slash wearable security blanket moment. I really shouldn’t be this tired. 

Whatever the cause, my familiar, beloved bed awaits and I can sleep a good sleep before getting up and doing it all again tomorrow. Vacation is over and I gotta get back into the swing of working hard. 

Good night, peeps!

Birthday Free Time 

I turned 47 today and, as a is my habit, I took the day off from work. Actually, I took yesterday and today. The 4-day weekend has been awesome. Lots of rest and very little thinking about my work. That’s been great. 

Today has been really low-key. Slow start to the day, talked with my Lulu before she went to sleep, watched some home improvement tv, and then ran a few errands. I wore a bright bow tie, which always makes me feel good.  Although the skies were blue and the sun a cheery brightness, it is really cold and windy outside. So, now I’m hanging out in the coffee shop inside Barnes & Noble, looking at wire jewelry books and drinking a grapefruit soda with my warm blueberry scone. 

A relaxing end to a great day off. 
  

%d bloggers like this: