Maintaining

I took this week off to rest and recover a little from a very long, trying time at work. The polar vortex…and, to be completely honest, inertia…have kept me at home, doing next to nothing. While that sounds restful, I can honestly say it’s really not.

My sleep has not improved; if anything, it’s worse. Long, sleepless nights, days full of lethargy. Distractions, like reading and tv only go so far. And even as I recognize that my self-imposed lassitude is not doing the job, I can’t seem to make myself do more. There are chores I should do. There are things I should write. There are likely even things to do in this city, if I put in some effort to suss them out. But I’m not; can’t seem to pull it together enough to do anything.

Feels like I’m just biding the time until I can go back to work without getting crap from my boss for not taking time off.

Maintaining.

It’s a pitiful use…or not…of my time, I know. As a would-be writer and creative, it’s kind of demoralizing to realize how impotent my imagination is that I could find nothing better to do with a free week than get a suit fitting and then become a recluse.

Ah, well. Monday will be here soon enough and I can go back to work where I know what to do with myself and my time. At least there I seem to have a purpose and know how to fulfill it. Left to my own devices, I don’t know what to do with myself. That’s just shameful. Ugh.

Well, this turned out to be a post full of sunshine…not. Oh, well. That happens occasionally. At least I’m keeping my posting goal alive – maintaining.

3 comments so far

  1. Widdershins on

    Thankfully we missed the Vortex this time. I hope you’re doing OK with the cold.

    We actually had a whole day full of blue skies and glorious winter sunshine the other day. Mrs Widds and I pulled out the deck chairs and got some serious ‘beams’. It’s been gloomy and rainy since then though. Those ‘beams’ seem a long way away now.

    I’m torn between wishing this Winter was over and knowing that when it does end we’ll be smack-bang into full-on-flat-out Summer and fires and heat and mosquitos, none of which are on my favourite things list.

    • Searching4Self2013 on

      That’s always the challenge, isn’t it, contentment in whatever the current circumstances are?

      I don’t mind winter in general. I just don’t relish the prolonged bitter cold of negative digits, particularly not double negatives.

      But the sun is shining today into the single digit air, and it will warm again soon. I hope this year’s fire season doesn’t come too soon for you.

      • Widdershins on

        Me too … we’re planning to get out in our trailer much earlier this season, and if there are nasty fires, (which is probable seeing as we’ve had such a relatively mild winter, the seasonal growth will start earlier and dry out sooner) we might be back home before they really get going.


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