Unanswerable Questions

Thinking, actual cognitive function of any kind, is truly beyond my ability today. But I have this push to keep the posting streak alive. So I’m embracing the delirium and posting a sampling of the absurdities that float to the surface of my brain during this sleep-addled fug. I have no answers for any of these – hence the title.

In no particular order:

  • Why do socks disappear from the laundry one at a time? And why is it always your favorite pair?
  • Why does sleeplessness make you emotionally compromised?
  • How can a bottle of water left in a car be warm, even when it’s only 30F and only partly sunny outside?
  • Where did Waldo actually intend to go?
  • What’s the point of sticky notes smaller than 3″ square – even my cramped (illegible) hand printing can’t squeeze a complete thought on one of those minuscule flecks of confetti they call mini PostIt Notes.
  • Why do aglets always come off when you’re in a hurry and need to re-thread your shoelaces or sweatpants or hoodie quickly?
  • Why is autocorrect so mean?
  • Why is the word effortless so hard to pronounce?
  • Why is the collective noun for turtle doves a pitying? Are they particularly empathetic?
  • Why do sales reps make me want to murdalize them constantly?

6 comments so far

  1. Widdershins on

    Socks – often one is called to serve in the Great Washing machine of Life, and the other is not, and so pouts and refuses to be washed in the same water ever again.

    Sleeplessness – emotions needs at least eight hours of sleep or they, too, pout.

    Water bottle – no idea, mine usually end up colder than the ambient temperature.

    Waldo – the other side of the street, he had a date with a chicken, but the chicken never showed.

    Post-Its – were invented by a frustrated secretary who eventually managed to smother her asshole boss with them, but was never charged because no-one believed the crime could be committed with such small and useless bits of paper.

    Aglets – never heard that word for ’em, but, it is Natures way of telling us to slow down and smell the shoe-leather.

    Auto-correct – computer code written by idiots who have never had a creative thought in their lives.

    Effortless – the word itself isn’t the problem, it’s the sighs one must make at the beginning, middle, and end, of saying the word.

    Turtledoves – it comes from their habit of congregating in large flocks in peach orchards just as the fruit is at its ripest and assisting with the harvest by carefully removing the stones, or ‘pits’ as they were known in olden times.

    Sales reps – because they deserve it.

    • Searching4Self2013 on

      OMG, Wids you are priceless! Thanks, friend. I needed a that laugh today. 😎🤣

  2. Admin on

    What if Waldo was lost? Like, he just kept waiting for someone to find him and take him home, but all we ever did was point and move on?


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