I’m going with another list this time, as my creativity and patience to think and research in order to write something more substantive is at a low ebb right now. Perhaps after the trial I’m prepping for in two weeks I’ll have more time and energy. For now, these random thoughts, some things I’ve uncovered inside my head and life – hence discoveries – will have to do.

  • While working on a site leadership list the other day, it dawned on me that I am the most senior female executive at my office location, the one that also happens to be the most populous among our many global locations. There are more senior women in the company, but they all work in other states. Odd that I never realized that before.
  • I ran across this quote in a novel I was reading a couple of weeks ago: “Live your life. Existence simply is not an adequate substitute.” I have been doing a lot of reading during the long stretches of sleeplessness. As is often the case when my mental defenses are low, inputs – what I read, watch, listen to, even conversations both participated in and overheard – seem to spark patterns…or at least my brain seems to make patterns out of what I’m seeing and hearing. This theme, about prioritizing “living” over “existing” or “merely being”, seems particularly pervasive of late. The implication is that living, the preferred and more valued state, transcends some indefinable barrier that requires a quality of personhood beyond basic or adequate; living calls for a special kind of energy, determination, fortitude that average, ordinary, quietly desperate people cannot achieve. But, just sometimes, I feel like existing has to be enough, that the courage, energy and fortitude required just to remain is all that should be expected and is enough.
  • Finally, a thing I’ve discovered and which I probably should have realized a long time ago is that daylight savings time tricks your brain into being ok with working longer hours. Tonight for instance, I kept going for two and a half hours longer than I intended, in part because the glare of the setting sun through my office window made my brain think it was earlier than the real hour. It’s a frustrating side effect – linger days should give more time to enjoy the warming weather, but that very thing is also the reason my brain thinks it can keep on working. Oh well, I’ll just have to pay more attention to my watch than the light in my window.

2 comments so far

  1. the #1 Itinerary on

    Great post 😁

  2. Widdershins on

    Sometimes ‘existing’ is all we can manage on any given day, and sometimes it’s a rather nice place to just sit still and be in. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: