Random Bits

Catching up after a trip abroad is busy work! Cleaning out the in-box, unpacking the suitcase, laundry, dry cleaning, home chores, fighting off the head cold/lurgy that you picked up on the plane home…you know, the usual. As a consequence, I have not devised a thoughtful, well-ordered, substantive post in a while. And this one is not an exception to that. But I wanted to post. So here are some random bits:

• I have recently watched more “tv” via streaming service than I have in years. I’m late to the party on Sherlock, but am *loving* it! Can’t wait for Season 2 of The Mandalorian. So, so, so loving the new Star Trek: Picard series! Catching up on Star Trek: Discovery and enjoying it, though the mushy annunciation of the Klingon portrayals is challenging. All in all, a good bit of entertainment!
• My company announced the appointment of a new CEO today. Only time will tell if the newcomer will improve the culture and quality of life around here. I dearly hope so.
• I was interviewed for a feature in Hispanic Executive magazine that’s coming out later this year. That was an ego boost, I can tell you!
• The dressing room I’ve gushed over so much in recent posts is coming together. I am now in the slow-putter phase of calibration of its optimal layout. I love having this ongoing project to mess around with.
• Sometimes I struggle with being patient with some of my younger attorneys. They’re doing well, on the whole, and I appreciate their energy and attitudes. But often they move so quickly and pay too little attention to detail. That’s a natural part of maturation, I know. But the energy *I* must expend cleaning up the messes they create in their haste is taxing on my nerves.
• I posted a bit ago about an experiment I was going to do to try to break the writer’s block I’ve been suffering. I committed to writing by hand for 30 days. No word count or subject matter requirements would apply. Just write every day, whatever comes out of my brain. I started February 10th. I wanted a date that was not the first of a month and I wanted to do 30 days, not just a calendar month. I’m using a brand new, beautiful leather-bound journal that was gifted me by a very dear friend, and a nice, new, heavy brass pen I received for Christmas. It has been a good experience so far, enjoyable. I’m not certain if my creativity has yet been re-energized, but the habit of writing every day has been. That can only be a good thing.
• My friends and I are in the midst of plotting a return trip to Asheville this Spring. Last year’s holiday was such a huge success and an epic relief of stress that we’re doing it again. Can’t wait!!
• Choosing a new route out of my neighborhood this morning gave me a great view of some naked trees against the sunrise. I so love the pattern of the branches against the sky.

Friends, I hope you have sunshine and joy in abundance and find things in your life that spark the fire of your imagination. Be excellent to one another.

It’s All Good!

Been an especially busy week since I last posted, filled with really good things!

• New furniture was delivered to my new house. It’s beautiful and comfortable and looks amazing in the new rooms!
• My custom closet system was installed in my new dressing room. I don’t have words to adequately describe how great this feels! I have wanted a dedicated dressing room since I was a teen. Now having the dream become reality is way better than I hoped! Of course, the first thing I moved into it was my entire compliment of bow ties.
• The beds and main pieces of furniture from the old house was delivered yesterday. The guys who did it were awesome and took great care with our things. In under four hours we had it all moved in and the bed frames rebuilt. I was surprised at how comforting it felt to see the familiar furnishings among the new. It was grounding, somehow.
• Last night was the first night sleeping in the new house. I was too wound up and didn’t get to sleep until later than I wanted. Also, as expected, the noises the new house makes are way different from the ones I’m used to in the old place. But it sure was nice to have all that space in which to acclimate!
• Finally, after having used my new bedroom, bathroom, and dressing room for the first time, I have to admit that I’m surprised at how much the new configuration of space affects my morning routine. Timing and rhythm of my ablutions, the newness of where things are placed, the new, larger scale of my personal space, all really impacted how I got ready this morning. But it’s all for the good. Having the luxury of so much room to myself is a blessing that makes learning a new routine fun and exciting.
• Bonus: I think I’m going to like being able to park inside the garage!

Good morning, my friends! I hope your day is full of discovery and delight.

Yeah, That

You know that feeling, that really awesome feeling, when someone really gets it, gets you, sees you, faults and all, but still likes you and even wants to spend time with you despite your faults and insecurities?

You know that feeling that makes your shoulders ease and your breath come easier, because the person you’re with understands what you mean even though you didn’t use all the exactly right words?

You know that feeling that gives you a sense of comfort instead of tension, where you feel capable of expressing yourself without a lot of fumbling for words and pausing to think because you know the person listening is truly interested and won’t judge what you say because of content or language choice or grammar, but just wants to know what’s in your mind and on your heart?

You know that feeling that comes from smelling something really nice and that is associated with the best memories of your life, that makes you taste and hear and smell the past and re-live that moment of peace or joy or reverence or euphoria, and that reassures you that things can be good and comfortable and fun without something bad or negative having to follow?

You know that feeling, like the sunshine after a big storm, when the clouds are still dark and threatening, but pierced through with strong beams of warm, yellow light that seems to vibrate with positivity and renewal, making the darkness of the clouds and the fearfulness of the thunder seem distant and silly?

Have you ever had a moment where all those feelings were bound up in the space of a few hours’ conversation with someone you are only just getting to know but whom you instinctively trust and who you want to spend time with, even when you can’t think of another question or story right now but would be happy to just sit with them and be, still and quiet, just being, together?

Do you know that feeling?

Yeah, that.

It’s pretty great.

Vague Booking

So I’m a tad late to post. Most of the reasons for that are awesome, although I also have been fighting a bout of writer’s block. I’m not ready to go into all the details, but suffice to say I have been busy with other things and that’s a great reason to be a teensy lax here. Without context or explanation, here are some things from the last couple weeks that have me smiling:

• IRL socializing is not as terrifying as I feared
• Spending time with friends, old and new, fills my spirit in the best way
• Paying it forward, in ways large and small, to help a friend or a friend’s friend gives me hope
• Being seen, especially when you think you are invisible in one or more dimensions, is both scary and uplifting
• Getting a push out of your comfort zone can land you in an exciting place
• Chatting via text and video is a fun way to make connections and feel less isolated
• Compliments that feel genuine are an exciting new experience
• Smart, kind, quirky, fun and lovely new people are the best!

I’m smiling and looking forward to a lot of new experiences in the next few days and weeks. This is a great feeling. I hope you have something to smile about and look forward to, also. 😎

Working on Making it Permanent

So, I’m back to the real world from vacation. It was a blissful reprieve and a truly wonderful experience.

This vacation was lengthy and expensive. It took over a year of planning and saving, some hefty cajoling of one of my brothers, and an unprecedented amount of preparation and working ahead at my job in order to be absent for two consecutive weeks without doing any work. But, oh my, was it worth it!

Foremost among the riches of this vacation is the quality time spent with my siblings. I believe this trip is the longest that my brothers, their wives and I have spent together in over a decade. It was a relaxed, congenial time full of comfortable conversations and silences, fun activities, and restful breaks. And it was free of tension and drama and negativity. It was the best of all worlds and I’m grateful we had that time together.

Also a big part of the benefits of the experience are the memories and mementos of our epic adventure. I so, so enjoyed every part of the cruise. Exciting new experiences, great food, majestic scenery, and so much fun! The excursions were great.

We went to a gold mine in Juneau, where I braved my fear of small places and being under ground and ventured all the way to the first bend of the main shaft – several hundred feet into the mountain! That’s a huge thing for me. I did turn back when the shaft took a turn and I lost sight of the daylight. I couldn’t brave it out beyond that point. But I got to wear a real miner’s helmet, see some awesome 100+ year old equipment, hear a cool story about miners’ lives in the 1800’s, and view some great historical structures. I even got to pan for gold! I think I ended up with about $0.80 worth of flakes and a million bucks worth of fun!

Then there was the glass blowing excursion in Skagway. That was huge fun! The Jewel Gardens park is gorgeous and has what the guide called “Jurassic-sized” everything growing there. The little tearoom on site serves food using vegetables fresh from their fields. And the working glass hot shop is a beautiful addition to that lovely place. My family lucked out and were the only ones booked on our particular excursion there that day. Three of us got a private glass blowing session with a wonderful, talented and friendly blower named Alex. He helped each of us make a customized globe ornament as a souvenir of our experience. I just received mine in the mail yesterday and am so excited it turned out so beautiful!

Perhaps my favorite part of the trip, though, was a day when we didn’t get off the ship. Our day’s transit through Glacier Bay was amazing! The sight and beauty of that place was awe inspiring. I’m so thankful that I got to experience that glorious place!

There were many more little things that made the trip so wonderful. Little moments of joy (the fleeting glimpse of a baby humpback whale breaching off the stern and showing its fluke as it dove) and quiet moments of togetherness (sitting on the Lido Deck breezeway teaching my brothers to wire-wrap gemstones for incorporating into jewelry) made my experience all the richer.

In fact, I got so much more than the beautiful memories and lovely mementos from this vacation. In the process of letting myself enjoy my time away, I seem to have remembered how to sleep. I think I have slept longer and more restfully in the last three weeks than I have in over a year. And I haven’t missed out on anything because of it – the sleep has come when it’s supposed to and I haven’t had to choose between a rest and anything else (like an activity or a chat with a friend) since my vacation began. I’m so glad!

And, also, plus – my relaxed, no-f*’s-given attitude has persisted into my post-vacation approach to life and my workplace. The light-touch, advise-and-release method of crisis management that I described in my last post is holding up to repetition. I have, so far, been successful in keeping myself from taking on the burdens rightfully belonging to others, without shirking my own duties. This more balanced, rationalized, right-sized sense of responsibility is so much more sustainable and easier to bear.

Oh, I know what you’re gonna say! “It’s only Tuesday of your first full week back, so maybe go easy on the glowing new-me reports?”

Agreed. Time will tell if this post-vacation glow lasts. It won’t last forever, I know. But with concentrated intention, maybe I can make it last until the next vacation. Even if that one isn’t the epic, bucket-list-level experience of this Alaska Cruise Adventure vacation, perhaps the more mundane variety of break from the work-a-day world will combine with the residual afterglow of this extraordinary experience and become more permanently etched into my psyche. Who knows?

What I do know now is that I feel better after this vacation and I’m working on making that a permanent state of affairs.

Anticipation of Relaxation

I’m officially on vacation! Yesterday was travel day, in which I flew to Seattle to meet up with the fam ahead of our epic cruise adventure. My brother kindly fetched me from the airport and we drove to his home a couple hours away.

It was the smoothest, easiest, least stressful travel experience I’ve ever had. Because my other brother had taken my checked bag with him and his wife in their motor home for their drive out here, I only had my backpack to worry about on the plane. Got a Lyft to the airport and my bro’s comfy pickup on the other end, I had no transportation responsibility. I just rode, flew, rode again, and arrived at my brother’s home. Easy.

Now we have a rest day. Tomorrow is sailing day, but we have no obligations today. This is definitely a good thing. I know I’ll appreciate the rest when we start the festivities tomorrow, which will be at once fun, exciting and stressful. Yet I always have trouble with this part, the waiting.

There’s something to be said for the pleasure of anticipation. Often, pleasure is increased with a little bit of delay. But for those of us, like me, who are chronically impatient, this caesura is kinda nerve-wracking. Not because I’m not enjoying being with my siblings and not because I don’t like just hanging out. I’m just not very successful at stilling my mind and find myself thinking ahead to the next day, the next action, the next agenda item.

I guess I’m not very good at vacation.

But I’m sooooo happy to be here and I am sooooo stoked for the cruise. I’m anticipating that, being a self-contained experience, with plenty of time to do nothing but simply relax together will make me better at it. 😎

Here’s to learning to be a slug! 🐌

All the Good Stuff

So it’s Tuesday again and I’m posting another really quick update. I’m riding a wave of happy positivity right now, friends! Here’s some reasons why:

• It may be Tuesday, but it’s my Friday – last day of work before a looooooong stretch of leisure time!
• That leisure time will include a bucket-list-level Alaska cruise and some deep quality time with my siblings. It all starts on Thursday!!!!
• I heard yesterday morning that one of my lesfic stories has been selected for publication next year in an anthology put out by Bold Strokes Books!!!! OMG, y’all!
• My first ever casting in my silver smithing class was a huge success. I’ve de-sprued and ground and rough polished. Cloth wheel polish and patina when I get back from vacation.
• I remembered to post today!

Have a great week, friends! I’ll see about posting while I’m on the road…er…sea! 😎

It Begins

So now it’s real. I have the ol’ R2D2 suitcase out on my bed. I’ve gathered clean laundry and my suits. I’m selecting bow ties. I’m remembering the Dramamine. I even have my flip flops in case there’s a poolside situation.

I’m packing. That makes it real. I’m going on a cruise!!!!!!!! Excitement awaits.

I’m hopeful that there will be connectivity along the way. But if not, I’ll post a few extra times when I get back to make up for the missing posting goals.

Enjoy your July!

Aimless Drivel

I guess I jinxed myself by calling out the inadvertent posting pattern of Tue/Fri in my last post. Because I clearly missed posting yesterday. Ugh.

Yesterday was a genuine s@$&t show of a work day that sucked all my energy and taxed every nerve. By the time I got home from work I had no reserves left for writing. At least not writing blog posts for an audience.

I did get to spend some quality text time chatting with a new friend. Their attention and banter and gentle humor took my mind off my troubles. I count that a great blessing, having the freedom and security to talk about things that matter, but are so distanced from the sources of stress in your lives that the conversation is just for the pleasure of conversing. Not having to solve each other’s problems, not being burdened with the weight of responsibility and just being able to discover little facts about each other that add detail to the mental picture you’re each building of the other – these are the kinds of conversations that make making friends fun.

Today was the first day of a five-day weekend for me. My company observes Independence Day tomorrow and Friday as company holidays. But my boss and his EA staged an ‘intervention’ Tuesday in the doorway of my office, declaring that I was too stressed and spent plenty of hours doing work that shouldn’t have landed on me and that I needed to take the extra day off for my own good. My boss was insistent, even though I pointed out that I have extended PTO scheduled to begin a week from today. He just said “good, this will be practice for your time away”. I’m not entirely certain if he meant practice for me to relax, or practice for my clients and employees to get on without me. Both, probably.

So I was lazy today. Read an ebook in the cool and quiet of my empty house, napped and then went to a movie before meeting my family to run errands and have dinner. It was a good day.

The rest of my pre-vacation vacation time should be just as chill. Reading, writing, laundry, packing for the real vacation, and at least one dinner out with friends should consume the time nicely. Might even brave the heat and go watch fireworks tomorrow night. Then only two days of work before two weeks of freedom!!

I’m looking forward to the vacation. Family and I are going on an Alaska cruise. It’s beyond exciting. I can’t wait to fill up my cloud storage with pics of wildlife, landscapes and family silliness. I’m a tiny bit nervous about the boat – never been on a cruise ship. It should be the experience of a lifetime.

Well, that’s all the aimless drivel I have to share. At least I’ve saved my weekly posting streak, if not the recent posting pattern. I’m worried that there won’t be connectivity on the cruise and I’ll miss my weekly post while I’m away. Dunno why that matters to me so much, but it does. I guess because I set the goal and have been successful in meeting it for so long, it seems a shame to let it break. Ah well, for this reason? Worth it.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the holiday, if you’re celebrating. If you’re not celebrating, I hope the proliferation of noise and smoke doesn’t disturb your summer evening. 😎

Bliss

It’s Saturday evening. I’ve enjoyed a quiet, laid-back day of reading, games, resting and chatting. It’s the last day of vacation and I’m as mellow and rested as I’ve been in over a year.

This week was a critical, essential respite from a very stressful stretch of life. Although I didn’t sleep as much as I’d hoped to sleep every day, what sleep I got was restful. Even more nourishing was the stress-free, expectation-free time spent with friends in gentle activity, peaceful relaxation, and honest conversation full of truth, validation, and so much laughter and joy.

We had amazing food experiences. Two epic taco encounters, a spectacular charcuterie adventure, and even a delicious and comforting Southern breakfast escapade. Not to mention several lovely homespun meals that really hit the spot for hunger for both food and fellowship.

Art was enjoyed. Gorgeous mountainside vistas were viewed in awe. Bookstores and their contents were explored and revered. Souvenirs were collected. And peace was discovered in the quiet comfort of a cabin in the Blue Ridge mountains with people of like mind and open heart.

I’m going back to the real world tomorrow. The early flight and subsequent quick-turn to get ready for a business conference next week will, no doubt, dull the sparkle of the shiny-new ease I’ve garnered from this retreat. But it’ll just be surface patina. I think this time away from the angst and pressure and the intentional focus on my own internal restfulness, has helped me reset and win back the relaxation and coping skills I had forgotten. At least that’s my sincere hope.

With this renewed energy and more centered outlook, I hope to have perspective enough to evaluate my job, and the sources of stress I’ve endured for so long, with fresh eyes and a calm spirit. One week’s rest is by no means a cure-all, but I do hope that the relief from the most recent stresses will be enough to make objective observations and smart, self-first decisions.

If not, I will at least still have the experience of this blissful week as a source of joy when things get rough.